Melancholy

hey.. hey there that reading this words. Hi, I'm back again with new me....So far, 2018 has been a tough year for me....I broke up with my ex-fiance end of 2017 and enter 2018 as a single and heart broken lady. Going through the "single lady" period this time is bit different for me.. I am older.. not in high school anymore and I am afraid of falling in love again, that is what I feel. Hence, I looked up for fun, companionship, I am into extreme activities, sports and reckless thing sometimes. But.. always.. always at the end of the day, at 2.00 a.m where i am bout to shut my eyes and enter the illusion world i feel empty and alone. I've been on tinder date few times and... i realized, it is just not me.,....most of the city citizen is walking body with empty soul. We're alone and empty but at the same time, we afraid to commit on to serious relationship. We want to fuck good, but we don't want a kid. We want companionship, but we don't want friendship. We ship all the relationship goal and try make ours look like that, but we failed and we disappointed, the relationship that should be fill with laughter and silly jokes and presence of both soul that want each other is replace by smile on the instagram, laughter on the snapchat and each soul that suppose to be presence on the candle light dinner is absence. That.... that is the world that we live now... the world is cruel, the people is sick and the live is a melancholy.







with honesty,
Natasha Buhary